“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”
– Tracee Ellis Ross
Motivations
Try My Activity
Wisdom • Truth • Fortitude
When you’re faced with situations that throw negativity, bias, and chaos into your path, it can trigger a “What the F?!” moment. You feel uncertain, frustrated, or angry. You wonder, how did I get here? And how do I get out? You may actually say or think WTF?!
WTF?! moments can start with:
A comment from someone else
A task or duty outside your comfort zone
A situation that makes you uncomfortable
Anything that causes you to question who you are or what you stand for
They are your brain’s way of letting you know that something isn’t okay, and you should take a minute to evaluate before making your next move. Negative thoughts and feelings can take over when you don’t take that minute, making you question your power.
But your power is constant, and it cannot be diminished, so these moments can also be opportunities to transform and gain a different kind of WTF: Wisdom, Truth, and Fortitude.
Let’s take a closer look at the new WTF?! we are trying to reach.
First, we’ll examine WISDOM. We often define wisdom as experience or knowledge. It goes a bit deeper than that, though. True wisdom is learning good judgment from your experiences and applying it to your decisions and actions.
Next, let’s look at TRUTH. By definition, truth is fact or reality. When we live in truth, we stop living the life that we think we should live and instead live authentically, doing the things that bring us joy and align with our values.
Finally, we’ll talk about FORTITUDE. Fortitude is the ability to have courage when experiencing pain or adversity. It is the strength that keeps you moving forward even when times are hard.
When we lean into our WTF?! Moments, we can gain experience and apply what we have learned as we move forward. We can live in a way that feels right and true to who we are, and that reminds us of the power we carry within. And we can have courage and strength as we move forward, facing difficult situations time and time again.
Now you’re probably wondering how you can make that change. After all, WTF?! Moments aren’t called that for nothing. That’s why I developed external reminders that represent my internal power, and help me change my mindset when something is thrown into my path. I call them Motivations.
They are:
Be a Good Human
Breathe
Give Grace
I’m Possible
Love Yourself
Take Up Space
You Got This
Do The Work
Be of Service
You Matter
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET ACTIVITY
So, you’ve just had a WTF?! Moment. Your test went badly, the kids threw water all over the floor, someone made a rude comment, a driver cut you off, world or community events are troubling you. Whatever it was, it left you reeling, on the verge of spinning out of control.
Before letting it take over, jump into Step 1 of the activity and see if you can change your outcome..
Step 1: Pause. Hang onto the reactions and thoughts that are bubbling up, and get into your head instead
Step 2: Breathe. Our bodies need air. Air refreshes, relaxes, and purifies. Don’t try to control your breath in this moment. Just notice it. Now that you’re paying attention flip the Breathe card to learn more and try a few guided exercises.
Step 3: Take Action. Now that you’re feeling a little more relaxed, it’s time to make a move. Even when we aren’t feeling our best, we can bring joy to the world. And spoiler… that will bring our energy level up as well. Now, flip the Be a Good Human card to learn more and take action.
Intentional breathing is one of the simplest but most powerful tools we have as humans. A few of its many benefits are the ability to:
- reduce anxiety and release tension
- increase compassion
- shut down negative thoughts
- ground you and help clear your mind
Give it a try:
- Relax your neck and shoulders.
- Inhale through your nose for 2 counts.
- Exhale through your mouth, as if blowing out a candle, for 4 counts.
- Repeat.
Life is full of challenging moments. When we are kind in these moments, kindness is reflected on us. This brightens the world a little and impacts our lives and the lives of others.
Give it a try:
Look around and ask yourself how you can make the world a little better. Some ideas are:
- Offer your seat on the subway
- Bring in their trash can from the street
- Recycle
- Pick up trash that you pass while out walking
- Smile and say hi
- Give a sincere compliment
How are you feeling? These two simple steps can help you quickly leave that WTF?! mood behind. But don’t stop there. Next, we’ll look at how we can use this experience to learn and grow.
Step 4: Identify. When that WTF?! moment hit, what did you need? Were you:
- Being hard on yourself?
- Questioning your worth?
- Doubting your abilities?
Keep the sense of calm you’ve already created and look through the motivation cards below until one speaks to you. Don’t overthink it, just flip it over and read.
Note: Each card has a message and an activity, so read the card and do the exercise. If it doesn’t feel right, pick another. The goal is to connect to YOU and find what will reaffirm your worth, strength, and value in this moment.
Grace is allowing people to be a work in progress. When we give grace, we let go of judgments and forgive shortcomings. This release of negative energy creates an environment of clarity, rather than one clouded by anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Give it a try:
- What are you holding onto in this situation? Anger at yourself? Judgment toward someone else?
- Once you've identified it, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. For example:
- I'm perfect how I am – mistakes and all.
- I don't know their situation, and their action doesn't have to bring me down.
Self-doubt can be crippling. When we question ourselves, we freeze and struggle to make the next move. Alternatively, when we believe in ourselves, we see that we can do and be anything.
Give it a try:
Positive affirmations counter the doubts in your head and affirm your worth. The more personal they are, the more effective they'll be.
- Make a list of affirmations that counter your specific doubts.
- Spend 3-5 minutes reading your affirmations out loud.
- Make them a part of your daily life and watch your doubts disappear.
Unconditional love results in better brain health, resilience, and healing, so give that gift to yourself. Self-love leads to happiness, motivation, and energy to care for others.
Give it a try:
The best way to show love is time, so spend some on yourself! True self-care isn't always glamorous. It's the little things you do for yourself that no one else can. Here are some ideas of how you can take care of yourself today:
- Go on a walk
- Eat food that makes your body feel good
- Turn on music and dance your negative energy away.
You belong in every room you walk into. Don't make yourself smaller for anyone. Live in a way that is authentically you – no matter how big or loud you need to be. Don't apologize for speaking up for what matters to you. You fill a space that's uniquely yours, so fill it to the brim.
Give it a try:
How can you be authentic in what you feel, need, or want right now? Here are a few ideas:
- Ask for help
- Say "No"
- Speak your mind
- Accept compliments
- Encourage others to take up space
You are your best cheerleader. You are the only person who has any control over your actions. No amount of inspirational podcasts and motivational books can make you do anything – that's up to you. So, cheer for yourself. Stay true to your values, know your truth, and project your voice.
Give it a try:
What's your motto?
- Take time to think about this and create a statement that will remind you why you can handle anything that's thrown at you.
- Write it down and repeat it three times.
- Make it part of your daily routine.
You can't just sit back and wait for the life of your dreams to float into your lap. Identify your dreams and goals and get to work. Each step you take matters, whether big or small.
Give it a try:
Get out your journal and start writing:
- What do you want to accomplish?
- Create a plan to get to your goals.
- Follow through! Each small task adds up, and you'll be amazed at how soon your goals are within reach.
After completing Step 4, you’ll probably feel like you’ve learned something. It might be about yourself or the world or the situation you were in. It might be something else entirely.
When you take the time to listen to what your mind and body are telling you and then fulfill the need that’s there rather than pushing it aside, that’s when transformation takes place. Those are the moments where you:
- acquire wisdom
- find the truth in the situation
- find YOUR truth and what’s important to you
- gain courage and strength for troubles to come
Now that you’ve transformed your WTF?! moment, there are two more steps. These steps take your transformation beyond this single moment and allow you to tap into the power that’s within.
Step 5: Focus. Think about the power you felt while completing this exercise. That spark was YOU. Now flip the You Matter card.
Step 6: Give. Flip the Be of Service card and get ready to send the transformed you out into the world. Give back to those around you and show your WTF?! moments (and yourself) that you have the strength to be a good human no matter what comes.
It can be easy to forget our significance in our noisy world, with voices, opinions, and images constantly being thrown our way. When we discover our importance, we begin to walk through life with intention and change the world, one simple moment at a time.
Give it a try:
- Get a piece of paper and a marker.
- Write down five reasons that you matter.
- Hang it up somewhere you'll frequently see (a mirror, desk, or refrigerator are good options).
When we put energy into the world, it always comes back to us. Once you've transformed your WTF?! Moment, it's time to pass that positive energy along. People may not remember your name, but the feelings you leave with them won't go away.
Give it a try:
Service to others doesn't have to be monetary. Here are a few things you can try today:
- Donate clothing to a shelter.
- Smile and say hi to strangers you pass
- Leave uplifting comments on social media
- Say thank you
- Find a way to volunteer in your community
- Leave coupons near items in the store
- Post inspirational sticky notes for others to find
These six steps take any WTF?! moment and turn it into something positive.
They allow you to tap into your personal power and discover:
Your Wisdom
Wisdom from examining the experience and learning about yourself.
Your Truth
Truth from identifying what is real and meaningful to you – not what others (or your brain) insist you should care about.
Your Fortitude
Fortitude from knowing your worth and giving back to the world. Because no matter the situation, you have the strength and courage you need to stay YOU through all of it.
Come back to this exercise often for a refresher and keep building on these skills.
Before you know it, you’ll be transforming your WTF?! moments automatically, filling your life with positivity and unlocking the power within yourself.